Earlier this week an email hit my inbox from Marie Forleo that made me smile… the timing was perfect and I had been talking about this exact thing the day before. Caring TOO MUCH about what others think about you and what you are doing can really hold you back from achieving your dreams. Wanting everyone to like you (which will NEVER EVER happen no matter how hard you try) is another side of the same coin.
I was apparently born as a big old people pleaser. I followed all the rules as a kid, didn’t have a wild streak in high school or college and have been fine following the straight an narrow. Made being my parent a lot easier than it could have been but it also caused me a lot of stress over the years.
Here are a few things that come to mind that I have done or not done over the years because I wanted to please others or make people like me (even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do):
- Kept my mouth shut when my opinion was different from the ‘crowd’ – don’t want to stand out and risk rejection or ridicule!
- Smile and agree to someone else’s plan to keep the peace.
- Keep good things happening in my life to myself so people with problems don’t feel bad… or get mad at me… etc
- When I was dating I went on many second and even third dates because I didn’t know how to say no – even though I wasn’t interested apparently my desire for them to “like me” was stronger than my desire to not go out with them.
That’s just a few random things and I’m shaking my head and laughing as I type them. Pretty crazy to read in the light of day and not in the stress of the moment.
The older I get the more confident I am in myself and more willing I am to speak my truth and let the chips fall where they may. If I hadn’t, this blog would never have been started or would have stopped pretty quickly. There were many people who didn’t like me sharing my thoughts or teaching about the business. Did it sometimes stress me out? Absolutely. Were tears shed on occasion? Yup. But I felt strongly about what I was doing and did it anyway. And there are lots of artists who are thrilled I did – I put myself at the top of the list because I love writing, speaking and teaching and sharing my perspectives on this wild ride of art licensing.
Here is what Marie Forleo had to say on the subject:
You can read her whole blog post on the topic here >> www.marieforleo.com/2014/03/confidence/
The bottom line is this: there will be people who like you and people who don’t, no matter what you do. SO will you limit yourself and spend your energy on the impossible task of trying to please everyone or will you go for your dreams?
Here’s to your creative success!
– Tara Reed